ocean air

ocean air

I go to the beach and look for sea-glass 

but all I find is 

bottle caps and bin bags

leftover from illegal beach parties

I didn’t go to

I go the sea to look for sunlight

and all I find is

an ocean of loneliness 

that’s been welling up inside of me

I hadn’t noticed

it is 

water brought out by water

it only happens at the beach 

when the salty air 

takes my hair 

and wraps it around my throat

my damp and sandy fingers 

are numb and fumbling 

with the cold

it only happens at the beach 

while I gasp in 

the un-stale air

without 

realising I’d been thirsty

without 

realising I’d been lonely

I’ve only talked to the moon in days

sitting under the windowsill

nestled between my dying plants

and the edge of my bed

cradling a mug of tea

just to feel the warmth

I talk to the moon

as if she were my friend

I’ve barely spoken a word in weeks

to anyone anyhow

but somehow 

I hadn’t noticed

until I felt the calling of the ocean

it’s something about its 

vastness

it wants to expand to fill

to take up the empty space inside 

of me

a well 

that’s been digging itself

it is not as if I am

unhappy

I have been worse for wear

and its hardly like 

this week 

is any worse than 

this year

although this year has 

been worse than most

ask anyone you pass

it’s something about the ocean

it wants to hold you close

and when you’ve forgotten what that feels like

it comes at quite a shock

- g h s

I haven't written a poem in ages, and haven't published one online in years, but sometimes poetry is the only solace you can find and its a way of connecting in with yourself and your emotions and perhaps even picking up things you didn't realise were going around your mind. This poem is just something simple about how the sea breeze can clear your head and make you think clearly, and in my case realise how tough starting uni during the covid-19 pandemic can be.